New Year’s resolutions are the arch-enemy of anyone diagnosed with ADHD. Are you kidding me? Make a drastic, life-changing commitment for a year (which is the same as 12 months, also the same as 365 days)? It is already so challenging to turn homework in every day. Even when it is completed, it sure is difficult to remember where it was put, or to find it in the backpack that closely resembles the aftermath of Chernobyl when it is unzipped. New Year’s resolutions are for the other folks – for the “neurotypicals”. You know – the sort of people whose executive functions don’t crumble like a house of cards with one small curveball or change of routine. Might as well forget about it. No chance. Never gonna make that a success. Sick of failing. Know better than to even try.
…Or should we try? Where do we draw the line between self-awareness and acceptance of the diagnosis and self-improvement, goal-setting, and growing into the person we’d love to become? Through challenge comes growth, right? How in tarnation do we tread those murky waters of distinguishing between realistic, attainable goals and allusions of grandeur? I reckon that is the true life-long conquest of the ADHDer. Someone recently told me the animal he admires most in the animal kingdom is the turtle. When I asked why, he said “because he always has to stick his neck out to get anywhere.”
How can the resolution for self-improvement be broken down so that it is not overwhelming and impractical? One suggestion is a year of mini-resolutions – just one resolution per month. Begin by identifying four overall goals you’d like to accomplish. For each major goal, identify 3 concrete steps you can take that are practical and that you can commit to practicing. Each month you focus on one of those steps exclusively – no more than a 31-day commitment. The beauty of the plan is, after focusing on something for a month you tend to witness some results and are likely to continue the resolution in moderation far beyond the 30 days.
An example of the 12 resolutions in 2012 could look like this:
MAJOR GOALS
- Improve my nutrition
- Improve my fitness
- Improve my relationships
- Improve my work/school performance
NUTRITION
o Cut out soft drinks (JANUARY)
o Eliminate desserts (MAY)
o Have protein rich breakfast everyday (SEPTEMBER)
FITNESS
o 30-minutes of fresh-air activity 5-days a week (FEBRUARY)
o Take a 10-minutes, stretch/walk-around break every hour (JUNE)
o Learn a new physical activity (yoga, martial arts, zumba, spinning…) (OCTOBER)
RELATIONSHIPS
o Spend two hours each week alone and unplugged with ____________ (MARCH)
o Send 3 postcards every Wednesday to friends and family to just say hello (JULY)
o Do an unsolicited favor for someone at home/office/school every day (NOVEMBER)
PERFORMANCE
o Check work email 3 times/day – personal email (including Facebook) only in morning and at night – from home (APRIL)
o Clear off your desk completely at the end of each work day so that everything is in a proper place (not just stacked in a drawer off the desk) (AUGUST)
o Spend 1 hour everyday entirely unplugged…no internet, no computer, no television, no radio, no iPod…give you brain time to problem solve, daydream, and create (DECEMBER)
Being diligent about your resolutions for one month is attainable. Having an external system of accountability will certainly help. Share your plan with a friend, a co-worker, or a coach who can support you. Provide yourself incentives for following through each month. Don’t beat yourself up if you slip. When you are the verge of reaching for that Ben and Jerry’s pint on May 23rd, know that you only have a week to go – no sweat, then you are off to something new. Keeping life fresh and dynamic seems to be a ticket to success for living with ADHD. Challenge yourself with the resolution of “12 in ‘12” and see where it takes you – ‘cause as we know THROUGH CHALLENGE COMES GROWTH.
