By John Willson, SOAR Director of LD and ADHD Services
So often people become quagmired in challenges and problems of a particular issue. I would encourage you to take a different approach when dealing with a child diagnosed with a learning disability or AD/HD. Make a conscious effort to move from a perspective of “What is wrong?” to a more solution focused approach of “Where is the opportunity here?”
So often people become quagmired in challenges and problems of a particular issue. I would encourage you to take a different approach when dealing with a child diagnosed with a learning disability or AD/HD. Make a conscious effort to move from a perspective of “What is wrong?” to a more solution focused approach of “Where is the opportunity here?”
When I was 14 and in the 8th grade, I was assigned the task of completing a report on Baby Face Nelson. As I let my creative side lead the process, I chose to give the presentation in the first person as if I was Baby Face telling you my life story. As I explored the house for the appropriate garments to complete the look, I found an old Fedora, a suit, and a pair of black wingtips in my father’s closet. The only problem I encountered was with the suit, and the fact that I was 5’ 8” and my father was 6’ 4”. The jacket was no issue, the baggy look seemed to be in keeping with the old photographs I found; the problem was the pants. My parents were out of town, so it was up to me to come up with a solution; I made a bold choice. Yes, you guessed it – snip, snip. But I didn’t stop there, I even convinced a neighbor to hem them for me.
As it turned out, it wasn’t just any old suit I had disfigured, but my father’s best worsted wool, double breasted, pin stripe suit. At dinner that night, my father announced to the family my choices leading up to the presentation while they were away. The look on my brothers face clearly showed the demonstrative glee as he anticipated the scolding I was about to receive. Then, one of the most remarkable things happened. Dad announced to the family how proud he was to have a son with the creative problem solving abilities to complete such a remarkable assignment in their absence. My shock was confirmed with the incredibly disappointed look on my brother’s face. Why? Why would my father go to such lengths to congratulate me, when I had willfully taken a valuable suit from his closet and cut the pants to fit for a one-time school project.
Years later he shared with me this simple truth. “Life wasn’t easy for you John. When I found opportunities to celebrate your strengths and accomplishments, I felt like that was the most important thing I could do for you. In five years, the suit would not matter, but your sense of self would always be important.”
Therefore, I encourage all of you to focus on positive outcomes for your children’s and be purposeful how you discipline, encourage, and provide nurturing support that will matter more than five years from now.
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