Leap Day, by Becki Neidens- SOAR Director of Wyoming Programs

Leap Day. It is my favorite holiday – has been since elementary school. Oh how I wished and wished that my birthday fell on leap day…or that I’d have a child born on that extra-special spare day that only comes to grace us every four years. No such luck on either accounts…  I think initially my young-nerdy-self was blown away by the math of it. I thought it was incredible that some people out there that walk among us, had the wisdom to understand the need for a supplemental 24 hour day every four years. I certainly have never understood why it is not an International Holiday. How can you possibly be expected to work or get on with your ordinary, mundane tasks when you are granted this extraordinary bonus day? Shouldn’t we all be out celebrating together? Rejoicing with the fact that February 29 is unique and magnificent, and without it the world as we know it, and time as we have defined it, simply would not be the same.

What are you going to do with your Leap Day this year - your special gift of 24-hours that are not necessarily supposed to really be there?  It seems that there are so many articles written about improving the life of those diagnosed with ADHD – and rightly so. We’ve got hurdles to leap and plenty of places and spaces to de-clutter.  There is much value in developing strategies to help overcome our biggest obstacles. But, perhaps we should use our luxury day to truly celebrate ourselves and our unique strengths and magnificent gifts that contribute to making the world what it is. I wouldn’t even ask anyone else for help. What gifts about yourself do YOU cherish the most? Make a list (we’ve heard that a time or two!). What positive traits define you? Your creativity, tenacity, positivity, compassion, insight, humor, persuasion, ability to articulate, athletic ability, artistic ability, musical ability, relationships…? What experiences have you had in life that have contributed to where and who you are today? Make a “Victory List” of sorts.  On this extra-special, spare, superfluous day that totally trumps Groundhog Day (another favorite holiday) I wouldn’t even spend any time at all on what’s lacking, or on the experiences or accomplishments that you would still like to have in your future. Make it all about celebrating the present – who you are and how you came to be.

Now, the hard part is keeping track of that list.  I have found it to be rather poignant to go back to the Leap Days of the past and read what I thought of myself way back then – but I’m a journal keeper and I write it all down in a journal that is dated and stacked with all my other journals. If I didn’t have that system, I have no idea how I’d keep track of a piece of paper for 4-years. You’ll have to develop a system of your own so that you can remember where to look for your Leap Day List 4 years from now. Or not. Perhaps after the day is done you want to set the list on fire and offer it up to the universe the way that the extra day came and went. Whether you hold on to it or not, the effects are permanent.  Spending one day to truly celebrate yourself has great power. It will revitalize your super-hero alter ego and set you up to stand on top of the world. And the world will keep spinning, at a rate of 365 days per year…until the next incredible Leap Day when you will be able to cosmically recharge once again.

To Resolve...By Becki Neidens, SOAR Director of WY Programs

New Year’s resolutions are the arch-enemy of anyone diagnosed with ADHD. Are you kidding me? Make a drastic, life-changing commitment for a year (which is the same as 12 months, also the same as 365 days)? It is already so challenging to turn homework in every day. Even when it is completed, it sure is difficult to remember where it was put, or to find it in the backpack that closely resembles the aftermath of Chernobyl when it is unzipped.  New Year’s resolutions are for the other folks – for the “neurotypicals”.  You know – the sort of people whose executive functions don’t crumble like a house of cards with one small curveball or change of routine. Might as well forget about it. No chance. Never gonna make that a success. Sick of failing. Know better than to even try.

            …Or should we try? Where do we draw the line between self-awareness and acceptance of the diagnosis and self-improvement, goal-setting, and growing into the person we’d love to become? Through challenge comes growth, right? How in tarnation do we tread those murky waters of distinguishing between realistic, attainable goals and allusions of grandeur? I reckon that is the true life-long conquest of the ADHDer. Someone recently told me the animal he admires most in the animal kingdom is the turtle.  When I asked why, he said “because he always has to stick his neck out to get anywhere.”

            How can the resolution for self-improvement be broken down so that it is not overwhelming and impractical? One suggestion is a year of mini-resolutions – just one resolution per month.  Begin by identifying four overall goals you’d like to accomplish. For each major goal, identify 3 concrete steps you can take that are practical and that you can commit to practicing. Each month you focus on one of those steps exclusively – no more than a 31-day commitment. The beauty of the plan is, after focusing on something for a month you tend to witness some results and are likely to continue the resolution in moderation far beyond the 30 days.  

            An example of the 12 resolutions in 2012 could look like this:

MAJOR GOALS

-          Improve my nutrition

-          Improve my fitness

-          Improve my relationships

-          Improve my work/school performance

NUTRITION

o   Cut out soft drinks (JANUARY)

o   Eliminate desserts (MAY)

o   Have protein rich breakfast everyday (SEPTEMBER)

     FITNESS

o   30-minutes of fresh-air activity 5-days a week (FEBRUARY)

o   Take a 10-minutes, stretch/walk-around break every hour (JUNE)

o   Learn a new physical activity (yoga, martial arts, zumba, spinning…) (OCTOBER)

    RELATIONSHIPS

o   Spend two hours each week alone and unplugged with ____________ (MARCH)

o   Send 3 postcards every Wednesday to friends and family to just say hello (JULY)

o   Do an unsolicited favor for someone at home/office/school every day (NOVEMBER)

     PERFORMANCE

o   Check work email 3 times/day – personal email (including Facebook) only in morning and at night – from home (APRIL)

o   Clear off your desk completely at the end of each work day so that everything is in a proper place (not just stacked in a drawer off the desk) (AUGUST)

o   Spend 1 hour everyday entirely unplugged…no internet, no computer, no television, no radio, no iPod…give you brain time to problem solve, daydream, and create (DECEMBER)

Being diligent about your resolutions for one month is attainable.  Having an external system of accountability will certainly help. Share your plan with a friend, a co-worker, or a coach who can support you. Provide yourself incentives for following through each month. Don’t beat yourself up if you slip. When you are the verge of reaching for that Ben and Jerry’s pint on May 23^rd, know that you only have a week to go – no sweat, then you are off to something new. Keeping life fresh and dynamic seems to be a ticket to success for living with ADHD. Challenge yourself with the resolution of “12 in ‘12” and see where it takes you – ‘cause as we know THROUGH CHALLENGE COMES GROWTH.